UNCONDITIONAL
Unconditional. Motherhood defined. I would do anything for this little girl. Tonight, Sam and I remembered how Rylee came into this world and how incredible that day was. She was a surprise to us. One that we were neither expecting nor entirely prepared for. But as she grew in my belly, I just knew that life with her would never be the same. The things that I once cared so much about all of a sudden became much less important. SHE was now my priority. The love that overflowed within me the day I first looked into her eyes was like nothing I have ever felt before. She was ours. Our first born. A part of me. A part of Sam….Love had never felt so big.
I wrote Rylee a letter the day before I gave birth to her. I am saving it for her to read one day. I read through it again tonight. I still tear up remembering those moments as I wrote those words. It’s about six pages too long to write here….but I wanted to share a snippet.
“You were an unexpected surprise to us. But certainly no accident. Your dad and I always knew we wanted to grow our family and raise kids together, so although you were unexpected, we were so excited to know you were coming. You will be the first grand daughter of the family! I can’t wait for you to meet your Grandma’s! They have been busy praying for you! You are going to enter this world one loved baby girl. I am not sure if I could love anything more than I do you. You are a part of me, knit together by God, made just perfect. You will change my life forever and I will love you, support you, and encourage you for as long as I live. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring….but be strong little one. My heart tells me that you will be alright despite the doctors concerns. Tomorrow our world will change, and I can’t wait. Your name will be Rylee Jean. Now get ready, because tomorrow is your birthday!”
I had such a peace that night. I was induced a week earlier than my delivery date because of concern that Rylee was not growing enough inside of me….but I think I knew as I lay there in bed the night before her induction, that everything was going to be ok. And it was. More than ok. She was perfect. Healthy. Beautiful. I am so proud to be her momma. For the rest of my life.
Happy Mothers Day to all you mama’s!
May 13th, 2012 at 6:53 am
Oh my, you’ve made me cry! Happy mothers day
I hope you feel as special as you are xx
May 13th, 2012 at 7:07 am
That is so beautiful, she will treasure it forever. I hope you enjoyed your first mothers day!
May 13th, 2012 at 7:39 am
:’)
Happy mother’s day to you. We celebrate mother’s day in Sweden in 2 weeks!
May 13th, 2012 at 9:35 am
That’s a amazing post! You moved me so much!
I
Can’t wait to have my own baby..
May 13th, 2012 at 11:10 am
kelli, what a genuine source of joy & love. holy cow that her delivery was only 3 hrs, right?
May 13th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Happy Mother’s Day? You’re gorgeous?
May 13th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
wow this was beautiful kelli. i know you are and always will be an amazing mother, and i am so excited for you on your first mothers day!
xo,
steffy
May 13th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Congrats on baby #2!
May 14th, 2012 at 2:31 am
Baby #2? You must have seen the photo of my sisters ultrasound! No number two for me….YET!
May 14th, 2012 at 11:24 am
lovely blog, I’m a new reader-follower
May 14th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
WOW Kelli! This is simply beautiful and for something that words don’t exist for, you have found the perfect words. I’m a daughter and I know how much this will all mean to her when she gets to understand it all. I also hope to be just as close to a special mom like you to my own one day! Xoxo
P.S. I’m one of your very loyal followers, I just had never contacted you before this post, but this one brought tears of joy to my eyes…so I felt it was necessary that I leave a comment.
May 23rd, 2012 at 1:29 pm
OMGosh *tear*tear* The loveliness and authenticity in this post overflows. So sweet. Rylee is so lucky to have you as her mama, and vice versa.
May 23rd, 2012 at 5:57 pm
aw thanks so much Vivian! xo
May 28th, 2012 at 9:31 am
kelli, this brings tears to my eyes. james and i both know we want kids too… but are still so very scared. so i know its most likely going to happen just like this. i love the way you have described your feelings… thanks for sharing! i can use all the little snippets of joy on this subject possible
beautiful post.
May 28th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Ahh thank you Laura! When it is your time, you will find it to be a beautiful, unexpected experience.