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Kelli Murray

Kelli Murray

Kelli Murray

 The 52 Project – a portrait series of my daughter, once a week in 2013

harem pants c/o Little Norts / shirt – Nico Nico / knitted hat – Zara

It’s finally feeling a little like fall around here.  It actually rained today and Rylee and I splashed around in the puddles outside of our house.  We love it when it rains.  We also got our first “hot” drinks of the season.  Pumpkin spice for me, hot chocolate for Ry.  It was a good day.

Rylee officially started pre-school last week.  As much as I was prepared for it, I never imagined the flood of emotions that would come over me as I left that place.  Letting go of her hand and having her look up at me with those sad eyes.  I knew exactly what she was thinking and I hated it.  This tiny girl of mine….she’s everything.

I know it will be good for her….I know it will be good for me….but man, it was a lot harder than I thought.  2 days a week….we can do it.  I keep telling myself it is just a season and in a few months things will get back to “normal”.  With our shop launch quickly approaching, Sam and I have been going non-stop.   We knew a few days of help during this busy season would be the best for everyone…but it breaks my heart into a million pieces to see her cry every time I drop her off at school.  It’s one thing leaving her with grandma….it’s another thing to leave her with people she is unfamiliar with (despite how great I know they are!)  I’ve heard it’s about a 2-3 week break in process before they start to get in the groove of things and start to enjoy it.  The teachers keep telling me she is doing great for her first time, but I know she still doesn’t want to be there.  She wants me…she wants her familiar routine, her own crib to nap in, her baby dolls and her sponge bob show.  I can only hope she builds some relationships and grows to really love it there.  I know she will, it will just take some time.  And right now, we are both just trying to get used to it.

  1. lesley graham

    oh mama, i remember how hard that was. matilda has never had a ton of social anxiety. she’s all “see ya mom!” but the first day of preschool she wanted me to walk her to her classroom (which they advise you not to do) and when we got there she burst into tears, was tugging on my pants, it was one of my hardest parenting moments. i totally second guessed my decision. however, each day got easier and now she LOVES school and it’s great for me too. It makes us appreciate our time together. Great luck with the shop!! These are all big changes. Sayin’ a prayer for you guys this morning!

    Reply
    • kelli

      Thanks for this encouragement Lesley! It’s definitely tough right now, but I do think it will keep getting easier! Much love.

      Reply
  2. Giovanna

    I STILL remember crying on my first day of kindergarten. My mom walked me to the door and I didn’t want to go, despite the fact that I’d been in pre-school several years and I knew what to expect. I think new people and a new environment is tough on everyone, no matter what age you are. But you’re right…Rylee will make friends and learn to love going and it will help both of you grow. Hang in there!

    Reply
  3. Christine

    So tough, but it’s a milestone you and Rylee will surely overcome with grace, as evidenced in numerous ways in this blog. Hang in there!

    Reply
  4. angel swanson

    Oh this sweet girl!! Love these pics. I can’t imagine how difficult the preschool situation is, but I am sending you big hugs. I agree that it will take some time for you & her to get into the groove of it. You are doing a great job, mama. xoxo

    Reply
  5. EM

    Firstly has a stylist that kid has STYLE! Secondly I love that she is going to have so many amazing photos to look at when she grows up!

    Reply
  6. Calah

    Beautiful photos! Giving your baby over (even for a short time and even when we know it’s the best thing) is the HARDEST thing ever. I always say a little prayer with my little one before I drop her off. Then I have to trust that God is watching over her. The funny thing is, one day you will drop her off and she will run toward her friends and….you will cry again. Being a momma is such an emotional roller coaster. The best, exciting roller coaster ever, but definitely an emotional one. You’ve got this!

    Reply

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