Toddler scarf by The Pink Ruffle
As I was looking through photos from earlier this year for a project I am working on, it really hit me how drastically Rylee has changed. Infant to one is one thing….one to two is another. And from what I gather so far, two to three might prove to be the biggest year of change thus far. I’m not really talking about what she looks like, but more about who she is becoming.
The last few months have been hard for me as a mom. We’ve had to make decisions to keep us financially stable while Sam is diving in to his new career with Lone Flag. One of those decisions was to put Rylee in a pre-school 2 days a week so that I can take on more clients and design projects. We’ve also asked for a lot more help from my mom during this season of transition (I kind of don’t know what I would do without her). But every now and then that guilt creeps up and I second guess these decisions. Are we being selfish? How is this effecting Rylee? She’s old enough now to know exactly what we are doing. I know I wouldn’t change anything looking back. I wanted Sam to pursue his dream, I encouraged him to, and I know it would have only been harder the longer we waited….but my “mom heart” sometimes gets sad that I am missing too much. It’s such a challenge being driven to work and pursue your passions, while not sacrificing what is best for your family. But I know that sometimes sacrifices are essential for the potential of great. And Sam and I both have hope that this shop will be great for us and our family down the road, otherwise we would have never started this crazy journey to begin with. In the short couple of months since this idea was fostered….we’ve had high highs and low lows. But most of that was to be expected. Ry has been a champ with her change in schedule….it’s honestly probably been harder on me than it has for her. Ironically, after being a total daddy’s girl her whole life, she has suddenly switched to only wanting “momma”. And I’ll take it. I think God knew I needed that extra love from her to let me know it was going to be alright. One thing I’ve learned about Rylee is that she is a nurturer. She has a sensitive little heart and knows when someone is sad and needs a hug. The other day she caught tears in my eyes….she held my cheeks with her little hands and said “momma, isok….i luf you “. I just about starting crying even more…I love that girl so much.