Spring Air
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Brume Dress c/o Free People / Talon Boot c/o Matisse

Photos by JOIELALA

Well, Spring has officially arrived!  Lilac’s are blooming everywhere around my neighborhood and the birds have moved in again to the big tree outside of my window.  We are already talking Easter plans and Mother’s day getaway ideas and it’s hard to believe winter is already behind us.  This weekend I even shopped for a new swimsuit, which I quickly realized was a terrible idea at 15 weeks pregnant.  It’s strange, this pregnancy thing.  3 years ago I got pregnant with Rylee (totally unexpected and unplanned) at a time when my health was pretty poor.  I had recently been diagnosed with both gluten and dairy allergies after a two year battle with chronic stomach pain.  It’s still a wonder my husband asked me to marry him at one of the lowest points in my life…..but I guess that’s how I knew the depths of his love for me.  One year after we were married, we were pregnant, and I was scared.  I had no idea if I was capable of growing a child in this body I was so convinced was fighting against me.  I was pretty underweight to begin with, so my doctor suggested I try to gain around 40 pounds.  That number made my eyes pop out of my head, but if that’s what the goal was, I was set on reaching it.  Ironically, with each week, my pain grew less and less. I was starving…..ALL the time.  So I allowed myself to eat, and often times the foods that I wasn’t supposed to.  And as my appetite increased, I soon realized that my “forbidden foods” no longer affected me the way they used to.  I tested pizza and breads, yogurt and pasta…..nothing.  Food had never tasted, or felt, so good.  I call  Rylee my miracle baby.  Because she was.  After struggling with my health for so long, this baby….the one that I was so scared for, the one I was not even certain I was capable of carrying….healed me.  In the end I only gained a shocking 18 pounds, far from the doctors orders.  But for the first time in a long time, I was able to sense what my body needed, and I listened.  It was like a re-set button was pushed.  I delivered a healthy 6lb baby and my food allergies were something of the past.  Rylee changed my life in every good and perfect way.

Fast forward to this pregnancy and I think my story will look a lot different.  Not bad, maybe just a little more “normal”…if there is such a thing in pregnancy.  I started at a much more healthy weight, and I’m already steadily gaining.  You can’t tell much in clothes, but the bump is definitely fast approaching.   Maybe the suggested 30lb weight gain this time around will be a reality!  Who knows.  I know that even if I gain 60 I’ll still probably be able to fit in this dress….so, there’s a win ;)

I keep bringing myself back to the idea of trust.  That I can only control what I can control and the rest is up to God.  Letting go of my fears, what if’s and expectations, and instead,  looking at this journey with optimism and with faith that everything will be ok.  The next time I visit the doctor I will know if this bump is a boy or a girl….two weeks can’t come soon enough.

  COMMENTS (19) | SHARE:

  1. Evanda

    So excited for you & your family with this new addition! God has everything under control & everything is going to work out just fine! xox

    Reply
  2. Tasha

    Awww! You will be just as gorgeous this time around too.. of that I am absolutely certain! I had such bump envy, with your Rylee bump, especially because your belly button didn’t stick out like mine did! Good luck with the swimsuit search, it’s a tricky one. xo

    Reply
  3. Mary w

    Kelli, you look like a model from the 70’s- not four months pregnant! Your body is strong, capable of growing and giving life. You are a powerful woman. Grow that bump beauty pie! So happy for you, and thanks for sharing your health woes. Xox!

    Reply
  4. Jordan B

    I was off wheat from the time I was 13 and was diagnosed with a dairy allergy at 17…when I got pregnant shortly after I was married at 19 I went through a lot of the same! I was able to eat whatever I wanted again…quite a miracle when you’ve lived on fake bread and cheese for a lot of years!! It stayed that way for me through both my pregnancies and until this year, but sadly I am having trouble with wheat again and I’m suspecting dairy as well. I pray you have better luck with your allergies staying healed!! You look stunning all around!! :) I’ll be praying your health stays good!!

    Reply
  5. theresa

    hi kelli,
    i’ve been following your instagram for a couple of months now, and first came to check out your blog when i saw you were pregnant (i am 15 weeks too!). so interesting to read this blog post as i have been struggling through the same fight with food this past year, also my first year of marriage. thank you for sharing your journey! i wish you the best your second time around.
    x theresa

    Reply
  6. Lily

    I’ve followed your blog and Instagram for several years now and I’m wishing you all the love and luck for a healthy and manageable pregnancy. xoxo

    Reply
  7. Alissa B

    i’ve followed you for years and years, and i rarely comment. only here and there. but you were actually one of the first blogs/fashion blogs that i came across–and you got me hooked, i even started my own blog because of you!

    it’s one thing about the internet and blogs that so great–the ability to share. i love how open you are with such a wide range of topics. my husband and i lost our first baby last summer and i remembered your post about miscarriage, and it was a comfort. reading your posts about being pregnant again–makes me feel so happy for you and your husband–and rylee!

    i always look forward to your posts whether they be light and fun or serious and solemn.

    you inspire, and that’s something that’s kept me a loyal reader of your blog!

    have a good week :)
    and i’m thinking a girl too!!

    alissa b
    http://www.alissab.us

    Reply
    • kelli

      Alissa, thanks so much for this comment. It means more than you know. I’m thankful that through this blog I am able to connect with people and encourage people that I otherwise never would get a chance to. It is the wonderful thing about this crazy internet world. I’m so sorry for you loss last summer. Hoping that this is your year. Much love girl. xx

      Reply

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